anonymity
(dreams and anomalies)
…
I passed you
multiple times
we miss each other
yet
despite this divide
I wonder
I ponder
is this a crime?
why do you come to mind?
who are you?
why do I feel like I know you
when I haven’t even spoken to you
i’m trying to understand these feelings
they’re inside
they climb like a vine
should I confine?
how do I define?
this vine spreads
it’s infectious
contagious
these leaves are a lesson
releasing a fragrance
do I allow these desires to blossom
or do I bury them in the dirt
cover them up until it’s harvest-time
…
see
I wrestle with this vine of mine
my desires
the thorn of my flesh
and
I wonder
I ponder
is this all on one side?
what is on your side?
do you see me?
do you sense me?
…
so
you were in my dream
and you knew me
intimately
I was crying
I was empty
I was a mess
standing over death
a vacant body
…
and you held me
you comforted me
…
there were others around me
many surrounding
…
but there was only you
…
you were God-sent
a miracle to me
providing hope in a cave
in a dark dark place
when all those other faces were blank
…
you wrapped me
God’s love in motion
a tangible trace of his grace
not replacing
but reframing
reminding me of His way
that death has no say
yes!
you brought me to the safety of his fortress
the fount of my salvation
where my faith flows
where the Spirit speaks
there was hope
there
in my heartbeat
my true hope
my cornerstone
Christ alone
…
ah
I am amazed
this
this is grace
unrelenting love
reaching deep
even to the subconscious realms
the unprocessed dreams
…
now
while I still do not know you
this distance is ok
God works in mysterious ways
and maybe he is using you
your foreignness
your form
to reveal resurrection
sharpening my understanding of the life in the limbs
not the way of the wind
but the Spirit that comes to the bones
the work of God
in man and through man
the life he has raised and will raise
his upwards call
…
now
you may not be more than a name
a face
but I see in you God’s grace
the servanthood
the sacrifice
the strength
the song of the heart
…
see
there is a music to you
…
you do not know me
but my prayer is for His glory
…
as I reflect on why you come to mind
all I know
is he is the true vine
so we are entwined
we are the body of Christ
and I am spurred
to faith and good deeds
why?
because you’ve embodied God’s love to me
through your actions
through your speech
…
so the vine spreads
and this vine i will follow
not my weeds
not my will
not my desires
I can’t plant a vineyard in my name
for in this season I see
these leaves are a lesson
and as the wind blows over
a fragrance remains
this is the aroma of Christ
…
for to live is Christ, to die is gain
so death no longer gets to claim that dark place
where there is futile fear, from dreams I cannot escape
no
I choose to stand in faith
proclaiming Jesus’ name
the only name by which we can be saved
…
