I am so grateful to wake up with birds chirping
The leaves gently dangling
In the early morning gold
I am so thankful to have a kettle for coffee
Ingredients to break my fast
A workplace to go to
A language to speak fluently
…
How easy to forget these little things
The everyday provisions
…
The last week has been anything but
sweet memories
There has been attack after attack
Reminding me there is an enemy
I have been broken to pieces
s h a t t e r e d
s c a r e d
d o n e
The worst possible things
all accumulating
First, the rejection
Then, the sickness
3 a m
s l e e p l e s s
v o i c e l e s s
Next, why not step on a bee?
s t i n g
Cough, splutter
Then, how about transport delays?
Cough, choke
After that, more rejection
n u m b t h o u g h ts
But it’s ok –
Your cold makes you feel crap anyway
Cough, blow
After a pause, a perceived break
Lose your voice again
Blow, blow
Just wait
Then, the phone dies
(dies dies)
(no battery life)
How about work
Interaction after interaction
The daily grind
Emotional exhaustion
Cough, contain
k e e p f a c e
Spasms and migraines
Are you ok?
Push through
Push through
Push
Cough until you cry
Lay on the couch awhile
Cough until you choke
b r e a t h e
Lay on the ground
s o b b i n g
Let those eyes release your soul
Buy coffee pods that don’t fit the machine
(first world problem)
Forget a friend’s birthday
Skip a meal because you feel fat
Lay on the couch
Forget to drink your tea
Ignore the future
Avoid reality
Forget the pain
Choose to numb
e s c a p e
Walk until your mind
b l a n k s
….
How to have an attitude of gratitude?
How not to complain
How not to collapse
Should I hide this pain?
Should I force a smile?
I am done
So done
I can’t take anything more
These fevers
These tablets
They’re shaking me
They’re breaking me
The sleepless nights
The lack of light
…
Lord
Turn my despair into prayer
my heart to hope
my worse to verse
my pain to praise
Help me to give thanks
in all things
at all times
Even the tough and the rough
Even in the mess and
when i’ve
had
e
n
o
u
g
h
…
Lord you are faithful in these things
I know you will be faithful in the larger things
(At least, they seem larger to me)
I do not know where I will go
What lies before me
But
Father you know my fears
And more
You know my needs
You know better than I do what I need
And when I need it
I trust you will prepare a place for me
I ask that you will provide me with the chance to grow in the giftings you have given me
That I will be able to bring you glory
And work for a cause that has eternal weighting
…
Help me to live each day in thanks
Let my heart posture be one aligned with your grace
…
I realise the only way to have an attitude of gratitude
Is to shift the focus from created to Creator
To turn from circumstance to Christ
To fix my eyes above
To not let these earthly concerns, authorities, pressures, follies, failures, pains, disruptions, ailments
Steal my gaze from the heavenly riches
The treasure of knowing the light of the gospel and glory of God in the face of Christ (2 Cor. 4)
