BAM

Am I dead yet?

You shot pretty hard
Maybe I’m bulletproof
Baby
…
No
…
Baby
I’m broken
So broken
Too many holes
It went right through
It chipped the flesh
The whim of death
Now my heart throbs
Vessels drenched
Blood spent
…
Time to vent
Vent
Vent
Vent
…
Get it out of the system
Push
Blow
Breathe
…
It’s going to be ok 
Darling
Gorgeous
Beautiful
…
Stop
… 
Stop it with your reassurance
Stop it with your sympathy
This is death 
This is the end
This is when the rip is rough
Life’s tough
A sea of grief

I don’t want to be told that I am enough
Because I’m not
I’m never going to be
That trying
That striving
…
To be enough
To feel enough
To live enough
To do enough
…
I’ve had enough
Funnily enough
…
Because
Only He is enough
…
Not me
…
Stop it society
Go away propriety
…
Time to die to self 
Surrender completely 
No other way
To be saved

Thank you Jesus,
for making a way.

“My soul clings to the dust;
give me life according to your word!
When I told you of my ways, you answered me;
teach me your statutes!
Make me understand the way of your precepts,
and I will meditate on your wondrous words.
My soul melts away for sorrow;
strengthen me according to your word!”
– Psalm 119:25-28

Note:

The intensity of the emotion in this piece may come as a shock to some, but may resonate with others. In capturing the ‘abundance of lovely’, I want to acknowledge that we have been created as emotional beings, and that with that comes complexity. Our lives are weaved with highs and lows, but, no matter what, He is enough. It is necessary to express and expose emotion. The Lord  calms the chaos of our thoughts and souls, he settles our sea of grief when we surrender at his feet.